Forcing the future

Throughout my life, I have felt when things were changing. I have felt myself changing or things around me changing. Either way, I can always see when something begins to happen.

I’m seeing that now in most areas of my life. Everything seems to be in motion right now. So what’s my plan to handle changes? This time, nothing.

In the past I have worked so hard to figure out what I thought those changes where and then moved as fast as I could in that direction. Almost as if I was trying to force things before it was time because of my impatience. My life decisions have been marked by impatience and trying really hard to elevate my own status. I won’t say I was ever on the wrong path because I believe God controls every step. But my view of things and my impatience never allowed me to find peace in the moment. I was so focused on the changing events in my life happening quickly that I never stopped to enjoy the things God was moving around. I never stopped to smell the roses, if you will.

So now I can very clearly see things changing in almost every area. My plan is to rush nothing. To force nothing. I want to set myself up to receive all along the way. I want to put my ego to rest and let every decision be about what God would will and not what would make me look the best.

So my plan is to sit, wait and watch.

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Comments

  1. PJ says

    Dude. I totally relate. I just resigned my campus ministry stuff tonight. It had become all about me. My ambition. I need to just sit with the Father and not worry about doing stuff for Him. So there’s gonna be some changes in my life. I’ve always been in such a big hurry to get to the next big adventure in life. The thing I finally realized is that the next big adventure in my life is to live humbly, know my Father, and walk with my brothers and sisters. It’s time for me to put down some roots. As much as I try to escape Stephenville, it seems, this is where I’m destined to be. And I’m okay with that.

    • says

      That is kind of how I’m viewing my next stages of life, minus the Stephenville destiny part 🙂

      I want to walk closer to God, learn more about him, hate my sin more, open up to others better, and minister like crazy out of his power and not my own ego. The who, where, when and how of all that is very inconsequential. Used to it wouldn’t be. I simultaneously love and hate growing up.

  2. PJ says

    One of my friends wrote a song called “I Flippin’ Hate Sanctification”. I’m not sure he edited it like that though…hahaha. I’ve definitely had those days.

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